Mending Bridges
by Dream Weaver 85
Summary: Thanks to Cam giving them a push in the right direction, Sam and Daniel finally have a little chat about the time Daniel spent on a higher plane of existence. Spoilers for Meridian, Metamorphosis, Threads and Morpheus. SD and CamSam friendship. Complete.


A/N: As promised, I'm going to be posting fics that have been kicking around on my hard drive for the next little while. I'll be spacing out the postings so that they tide you all over until I can find the time to actually sit down and start writing again. ; ) It just so happens that this is another story where I'm mean to Sam just so she and Daniel have an excuse to be their adorable selves **together**… Man, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I got ripped off in S9 and S10! SD friendship with a side of CamSam sweetness thrown in for good measure!

Disclaimer: Own SG-1? If only!

**Mending Bridges**

"Note to self," Cameron Mitchell muttered as he hauled his sorry butt to the surface for a night of much needed sleep in his own bed. "No more late nights. Ever. Those damn bed bugs almost killed me with a little help from Deuce Bigalow!" The fact that he'd slept for almost 23 hours once he 'd finally passed out off-world didn't seem to have made a dent in the level of exhaustion he still felt.

Grunting was about all the effort he could put into greeting the SGC personnel he passed on his quest to reach the surface without getting roped into some half-baked mission that he just _had_ to go on. He did his best to keep alert and avoid colliding with anybody in the corridors, but moving any direction other than straight ahead proved to be way more work than his body was willing to do. Plus his eyes kept closing without his permission, which didn't exactly make it easy to see that he was about to walk straight into somebody. Fortunately the SGC grapevine worked at light speed, so nobody was offended by the treatment they received from the semi-comatose colonel and most personnel tried to keep out of his way.

To Cameron it felt like forever, but in fact, it was thirty-seven grunts, fifteen floors, three almost-collisions and one squiggly line masquerading as his signature before he was signed out of the mountain and happily breathing fresh Earth air. Despite the exhaustion that he was half-convinced he would never manage to sleep off, Cam found the energy to do a little victory dance upon reaching his car without being flagged down by anybody. Sliding into the driver's seat, he slipped the key in the ignition, started the engine and cranked the radio to not-quite full volume, hoping against hope that the classic rock booming from the speakers would keep him alert long enough to make it home. Doctor Lam would never forgive him if he fell asleep at the wheel and caused an accident after he promised her he wouldn't.

_Home… Bed… Sleep… Good… _

Doing a quick scan of the parking garage, Cam took extra care to look anywhere and everywhere that an airman could possibly pop up from. If he ran over some poor soul sent out to drag him back to the SGC when he was _this close_ to getting off the base, nobody would ever believe it was an accident. Casting one more glance to the entrance to the mountain on his right, he immediately killed the engine, pulled the key from the ignition and heaved a sigh. Climbing out of the car, he ignored the selfish little voice in his head demanding sleep and headed towards the sight responsible for delaying his date with Mr. Sandman.

Just three spots to his right, Sam Carter was seated behind the wheel of her car, although Cam seriously doubted she was going anywhere in the near future. Her head was resting on her arms, which were folded across her steering wheel, and her face buried in the crook of her elbow. Despite his desperate desire to sleep the next week away from the comfort of his own bed, Cam knew he couldn't just leave her like that. Even if his conscience would let him sleep after leaving her in her car, he would feel horrible about it for the rest of eternity… 

Plus if Daniel and Teal'c ever found out, they would kick his ass. Cam had seen the Jaffa version of ass kicking a time or two and though it was a blast to watch, he was absolutely positive he didn't want to be on the receiving end…

And then there was Sam. If she ever found out what he'd done, he'd be lucky if she _only_ kicked his ass. He knew for a fact that she could hide bodies in places where no one would ever find them…

He couldn't believe he could _feel_ himself thinking in ellipses! He was definitely in need of a nap that would put Rip van Winkle to shame. Shaking his head to clear it and better focus on the task at hand, Cam let out one more exhausted sigh before tapping gently on the driver side window of Sam's car. To his surprise, her head shot up immediately and she wiped furiously at the tears tracing their way down her face. All thoughts of sleep vanished from Cam's head as his eyes met Sam's watery gaze.

"Unlock the door," Cam ordered, knowing full well that Sam only ever followed his orders 17.641 of the time (he still couldn't believe she'd actually _calculated_ her rate of compliance with his orders!), and even then, she only listened when she didn't have a better idea. Realizing that Sam's version of a "better idea" might involve taking off at top speed, he made sure his toes were pulled clear of her tires. To his surprise, she leaned over to unlock the passenger door without protest.

Cam somewhat tentatively walked around the front of the car, well aware that Sam could change her mind and decide that speeding off was a way better idea than talking to him, and was relieved to arrive on the passenger side of the vehicle in one piece. He made sure to open the door, hop in and close the door quickly, just in case she changed her mind at the last possible moment and sped off with him only half in the car.

"Don't tell me that you're…" Cam began, fully prepared to have to drag information out of her.

"I'm not fine," Sam interrupted, meeting his gaze unwaveringly. "I'm as far from fine as I can remember being in a long time," she added, a fresh batch of tears spilling down her cheeks.

Unsure of what he was supposed to do, Cam decided to take a chance and held out his arms. He figured he was pretty safe offering her a hug and letting her decide whether or not to accept it. The last thing he expected was for her to launch herself across the car at him, crying so hard he was afraid she would hyperventilate. For a few minutes, Cam held her awkwardly, patting her on the back once in a while and praying to anybody but the Ori that she stopped crying soon. It soon became clear, however, that Sam was getting herself more and more worked up. He forced himself to remember the times that he'd dealt with her upset in the past without screwing up too badly, shifted her in his arms and started rubbing her back.

"Sam, you don't have to tell me what's wrong right now, but I need to know if you're okay," he said quietly.

"My best friend doesn't care if I live or die. I'm great, how are you?" she replied bitterly.

"What are you talking about?" Cam asked, genuinely confused. Careful not to throw her off balance, he leaned back just far enough to see her face.

"Forget it," she sighed heavily, pulling away from him roughly. "I'm just tired."

"Sam," he said forcefully, gently grabbing her upper arm before she could pull away completely. "Talk to me," he urged, wiping at the tears still running down her cheeks.

"Daniel didn't bother coming to see me in the infirmary once he was up and around," Sam began, her voice choked with a fresh batch of tears. "For a while, back on the planet, he was really worried about me and I thought we were back to the way things used to be, but then we woke up safe on Earth and he went back to not caring," she sniffed.

"What are you talking about? Jackson was driving everybody up one wall and down the other while you were out," Cam informed her.

"But he didn't come see me," Sam whispered brokenly. "I don't mean to sound self-centred, but Doctor Lam's treatment was much riskier for me than for you guys. Normal doses of medication don't work on me because of the protein marker Jolinar left in my blood. I was out twice as long as all of you and none of the medical staff knew if that was because I required a larger dose or if I wasn't going to wake up again. Knowing that there was a chance I was going to die wasn't even enough to make him come see me."

Now that she mentioned it, Cam thought to himself, Daniel _had_ been avoiding visiting her in the infirmary. He'd found a million excuses for his absence, including being too tired to sit up with her, needing to write his mission report for Landry and working on a translation for SG-17 that he swore absolutely could not wait five more minutes. Thinking back, Cam tried to recall exactly when Daniel had started acting weird around Sam, but he couldn't place it. As far as he could remember, it was only since waking up in the infirmary himself that Daniel had gotten weird about Sam.

But that didn't jive with what Sam had said just a few minutes ago - _back on the planet, he was really worried about me and I thought we were back to the way we used to be…_

Seeming to read his mind, Sam piped up, "You wouldn't have noticed a change in his behaviour Cam. Things changed between us before you started working at the SGC."

"Sam, maybe I can't compare your current relationship to what it was like in the past, but trust me, you and Daniel are closer than most _married couples _I know. Your friendship is solid," Ignoring the disbelieving sounds she was making, he pushed on, "When we weren't sure if you were going to wake up, Daniel was lobbying Landry to authorize visits to _all _off-world allies in the hopes of finding something to help you. If that's what he's like when he doesn't care about somebody, I'm scared of the lengths he'd go to for someone he loves."

Sighing, Sam settled back into her seat and Cam had the distinct feeling that this conversation was over. When she looked over at him again, her Colonel Carter mask was back in place and after carefully searching her face, he could see no trace of the woman he'd been talking to just a few moments before.

"Sorry, I know you must have been looking forward to getting home. I didn't mean to hold you up," she apologized.

"Sam," he tried, although he was certain she was going to shoot him down.

"If you don't mind, I'd really like to get home now," she said firmly, turning on the engine to dispel any thoughts he may have had about getting her to talk to him for a little bit longer.

"Night Sam, drive safe," he replied wearily, obliging her and getting out of the car.

He'd barely closed the door before she was off, confirming that his earlier fears about being around an emotional Sam Carter and motorized vehicles were well-founded. Heading back to his car, Cam bid goodbye to any hopes for a restful night. He was pretty sure he'd lie awake most of the night worrying about his friends.

"Morning," Daniel called out when Cam stumbled into the locker room the next morning. Looking the other man over, it didn't look like he'd slept at all last night. Given their last mission, Daniel found it hard to believe that any member of SG-1 could have had trouble falling asleep. Their bodies' exhaustion was pretty likely to win out over any nightmares. "Tell me you didn't stay up late watching more bad movies," Daniel teased lightly.

Too tired to take Daniel's off-hand comment with the humour intended, Cam slammed his locker door shut as hard as he could and spun around angrily to face the other man. "I didn't stay up late last night Jackson, I didn't sleep because of you!"

"What did _I_ do?" Daniel asked incredulously, studiously ignoring the looks they were getting from the locker room's other occupants.

"Treated Sam like crap and left her crying her eyes out in the parking lot last night!" Cam growled furiously.

"I didn't even _see_ Sam after Landry stopped by to talk to us yesterday," Daniel said defensively, his voice getting louder. All eyes were now darting back and forth between the two of them like a group of spectators at a tennis match.

"Maybe that's part of the problem!" Cam roared back.

"What the hell is wrong with you today?" Daniel yelled as loud as he could.

"I don't know what's wrong between you and Sam, but whatever it is, fix it today!"

"Mind your own damn business!" Daniel hollered, moving forward until he was in Cam's face.

"When a friend of mine bawls her eyes out because of you, it becomes my business!" Cam retorted, spinning Daniel around to pin him up against the row of lockers. "If you ever hurt her like that again…"

"Screw you," Daniel growled, pushing Cam off him with as much force as he could, pleased when the other man was thrown off balance. Stepping out from the row of lockers, Daniel made to move back towards his own locker and finish getting dressed.

But Cam was clearly angrier than Daniel had given him credit for. Getting his balance back, he lunged at Daniel with a fist raised. Lucky for both of them, their audience decided things had gone far enough and quickly separated the two. Both men fought to get their tempers under control, knowing that taking their dispute any further would earn them a trip to General Landry's office. Though the man offered SG-1 a great deal of lenience, neither really wanted to see how far they could push him. Silence reigned over the locker room while the two members of the flagship team finished getting changed and went their separate ways.

Once they were gone, Colonel Dixon turned to the others in the locker room and issued the order they all expected, "You didn't see anything and you didn't hear anything. As you were." He then headed out to find Teal'c and let him know tensions seemed to be running a little high between SG-1 members lately.

Heaving a sigh, Daniel tried to focus on the texts SG-12 had brought back from their last mission. He knew it was useless to try and concentrate after his run in with Cam this morning, but working was his way of putting off the conversation with Sam that had been a long time coming. At various times over the last few years, Jack, Teal'c, Janet and even Jacob Carter and General Hammond had tried talking to him about his strained relationship with Sam and, at various times over the last few years, he had found any number of very pressing things that he had to see to first. Ignoring their pointed hints was one thing. When someone who hadn't even _known_ he and Sam to have a non-strained relationship started pushing him about it, things had definitely gone too far.

Pushing away from his desk, Daniel took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. Taking several deep breaths to curb his growing anger at Cam for letting him know how much he'd upset Sam in such a public way, Daniel forced himself out of his office and towards the elevator. Just as he'd done any number of times in the past, he allowed himself to get lost in his own thoughts and operate on auto-pilot all the way down to Sam's lab. It wasn't until he was standing outside her door that he came back to reality.

Taking a few moments just to watch her, Daniel smiled fondly at Sam's ability to lose herself in her work. He wondered what scientific breakthrough she was working on right now, sure that it would be something deemed impossible by the rest of the scientific community, including those in the know about the Stargate program. He had learned long ago that Sam did her best work when she was upset and focussed solely on the project at hand. Assuming Cam hadn't been exaggerating, which he, admittedly, tended to do when got excited, Sam was probably working on building a hyperspace window generator out of a handful of toothpicks, a drinking straw and some chewing gum.

The fact that the idea seemed even remotely possible told Daniel just how badly he'd screwed up.

Deciding to stop dancing around the conversation he'd been putting off for years, Daniel jumped right in and hoped for the best. Moving into her lab, he came to stand next to her before speaking, hoping to get between her and the door before she even noticed he was there. "I never meant to hurt you,"

Sam jumped right off her stool at the sound of his voice so close. She'd been expecting Cam, Teal'c, Siler, Doctor Lam, General Landry, pretty much anybody on base but Daniel to drop by and see her this morning, but she had been allowed to work without interruption until now.

Reaching out a hand to steady her on the stool, Daniel refused to allow himself to feel hurt when she flinched away from his touch. After all, he'd done everything he could to avoid physical contact between the two of them in the last few years. He had no right to feel hurt that she'd react to his touch that way.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked, looking around for the rest of their team. Daniel never dropped by to visit her alone anymore.

"Something I should have done four years ago," he confessed, resting a hand on her upper arm to make sure he had her full attention. "I'm sorry I never came to see you when I was ascended."

Of all the things Sam was expecting to hear, that sure hadn't made the list. "Excuse me?"

"When I was ascended," Daniel clarified, in case she was still in shock over him touching her and not paying attention to what he was saying, "I visited Jack and Teal'c when they were in trouble but I never came to see you and I'm sorry."

"Daniel, that was a long time ago," Sam sighed, disappointed that he wasn't here to talk about why he'd grown so distant from her. After talking to Cam last night, part of her had secretly hoped that he would speak to Daniel and get him to talk to her about what was wrong between them. "I forgave you years ago."

"I haven't forgiven myself," he replied simply, locking his gaze on hers. "You were always the strongest of the four of us Sam. When things went bad, Jack would lash out, Teal'c would be out for revenge, I would withdraw from everyone, but you… You were incredible. You'd put up with Jack's crap until he talked, calm Teal'c down, seek me out and just be there for me and the whole time, you could just deal with your own issues by yourself and move on."

"I'm not as strong as you give me credit for Daniel. Helping other people cope is how I cope; don't make me out to be so altruistic," she argued angrily. She didn't want to talk about this. Ever. Sure she'd been angry when she found out he'd visited General O'Neill and Teal'c when they'd been dying yet he hadn't done the same for her. But she'd come to terms with that anger a long time ago. Right now, she was more angry about Daniel deciding he wanted to waltz back into her life and go back to the way things had been years ago.

"I thought that you would be okay when I ascended Sam. You knew I wasn't dead, not really, and at the time, I thought I was making it easier for you by letting you deal with my leaving. In truth, I was making it easier for me. _I _wasn't dealing with it and I was afraid if I sought you out, I would never be able to leave again. _That's _why I never visited you, even when you were dying."

"And why don't you visit me now?" she exploded. "You descended years ago Daniel, you wouldn't have to choose between leaving me and haunting me for the rest of my life, but you're even less a part of my life now than you were when you were ascended!"

"Sam, you…"

"No," she growled, shaking off his hand and hopping off her stool. "_You _pushed yourself out of my life Daniel, don't you dare make this my fault. You had countless opportunities to be a part of my life over the last few _years_ and you didn't take them! I needed you when we lost Janet and when we were losing General O'Neill to the Ancient's knowledge in his head! I needed you after Fifth had kidnapped me and when I lost my father and broke up with my fiancé and a million other times! At first, _you_ made the decision to push me away when I needed you most. I finally realized you didn't _want_ me to need you, and so I stopped coming to you because I refused to let you hurt me anymore! This was _your _decision and you have no right to complain about it."

"I pushed you away on purpose," he confessed calmly, unperturbed by her outburst. The way he saw it, he deserved all that and more.

"Get the hell out of my lab," she whispered harshly, blinking back the hot tears that stung her eyes.

"I pushed you away because I didn't deserve your strength or your friendship. Not if I could leave you the way I did, grieving all alone while Jack and Teal'c kept telling you to get over it; or scared and dying a slow, excruciating death while Nirrti messed around with what makes you who you are."

"Get out!" she repeated, desperately wanting to avoid the memories he was dredging up.

"I deserve your friendship even less now than I did back then," Daniel continued, refusing to stop now that they were _finally_ really talking. When he had first descended, he had been ashamed at how horribly selfish he had been and how much hurt Sam had had to endure because of it. In the years since, his efforts to avoid hurting her any further had only caused her even more pain. Forgiveness was more than he really hoped for at this point, but he still hoped that their friendship could be salvaged. "It's my own fault that I don't have it, but God Sam, I miss it so much. I miss you so much."

"I didn't take it away Daniel," she sighed tiredly, all traces of anger gone now. "Maybe I don't offer myself to you so freely anymore, but what do you expect? How many times can you honestly expect me to let you hurt me before I stop giving you the chance? I still consider you one of my closest friends… I don't know, maybe that says something about the sorry state of my social life, or maybe that says something about how much I want you back in my life."

"I know I don't deserve your friendship Sam, but I want… No, I _need_ it. I can't do this crazy job and go through all the things we go through without you."

"I don't want you to let me back in because I'm your coping mechanism Daniel; I want us back to the way things were because we care about one another again."

"I never stopped caring about you and I never loved you any less, regardless of how I treated you."

"Could have fooled me," she snapped irritably.

"Sam, look at me," he replied forcefully, "Look at me!" he repeated when she wouldn't, grabbing her chin and holding her head still until she met his gaze. "You probably don't believe it, and I don't blame you, but I love you more now than I did before I ascended. I've done a horrible job showing it, but you're still my best friend and when I thought you were going to die because of those damn bedbugs, I was going out of my head trying to think up ways to save you because if you'd died thinking I didn't care anymore, I could never have forgiven myself."

"We've cheated death at least a half dozen times since you descended. Do you really expect me to believe that?" she asked defiantly.

"This one was the last straw Sam," he replied. "We've cheated death too often and for a while, it looked like you weren't walking away from this one. And that's what made me realize that I needed to try and fix this now, or I might not get another chance."

"If you love me, if you really love me and you're really my best friend, how could you push me so far away?"

"Because I've gotten so used to you being able to forgive just about everything . I thought if I woke up one day, years down the road, ready to deal with all this, you'd welcome me back into your life. Even after everything I've done, you're still here. You've always been the strong one, Sam, and sometimes it's easy to forget that you get hurt just like everybody else," he replied, shifting his hand up to the side of her face, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her cheek.

"What do you want from me Daniel?" she whispered tiredly.

"I want back the friendship we used to have. I want us to be able to talk about anything, to be comfortable just sitting in silence and not feel like we need mindless chatter to keep it from being awkward. I want you to keep being you, and I want me to go back to being the Daniel Jackson that deserved your friendship," he replied truthfully.

"I can't just forgive you because you asked me to," Sam warned. "Some days I might wake up and decide I'm still mad at you and there won't be anything you can do about it," she tried not to let his hopeful expression tug at her heart strings. She failed miserably.

"You have every right to stay mad forever. Doesn't mean I won't try to make it up to you though," Daniel replied with a smile and a suggestive wink.

Sam couldn't help the giggle that escaped from her. _This,_ she thought, _this is the Daniel that's been missing for so long now._ Yes they'd only started this conversation fifteen minutes ago, but they'd made so much progress. Things weren't back to the way they'd been before he ascended, but he was clearly willing to make the effort. And, loathe as she was to admit it, she would do just about anything to get Daniel back in her life, even after all he'd done these last few years.

For his part, Daniel couldn't help the relief that overwhelmed him at Sam's response to his suddenly playful attitude. _This is what Sam and I have been missing, _he thought to himself, _the easy-going friendship where we can be dead serious one minute and silly the next, just to relieve the stress of everything._ He knew he had a long way to go before he could be confident that his name would be at the top of the list if anyone asked Sam who her best friend was, but he would bet he was in the top three right now. And that in and of itself was a huge accomplishment.

"Are we okay?" Daniel asked hopefully.

"Not yet, but we're getting there," she replied honestly, offering him a gentle smile to ease the sting of her words.

"Fair enough," he declared, pulling her into a hug for the first time in years. At first he'd been afraid she wouldn't reciprocate, but that fear was laid to rest when her arms snaked around his back and squeezed him tight. "I know it's my own fault," he whispered into her hair, "but I've missed you _so_ much."

"I've missed you too," Sam replied, relishing the fact that not only was she wrapped up in her best friend's arms, but _he'd_ been the one to initiate the hug. She wiggled a little bit, trying to snuggle as close into Daniel as she could, earning her a chuckle from him.

"I'm not going anywhere Sam, don't worry."

"Thank you," Daniel said, leaning causally against the doorframe.

"For almost breaking your face this morning? Think nothing of it," came Cam's sharp retort.

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'thanks for pushing me to talk to Sam'. I've been needing to do it for years, but I kept putting it off and telling myself that she was Sam, so she could handle anything. I had no idea how badly I was hurting her until you told me this morning."

"You talked to her?" Cam asked, ready to severely harm Daniel if he hadn't.

"Yeah," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We're not there yet, but I think we're gonna be okay."

"That's good."

"Yeah, it's good," Daniel agreed.

"For the record, you make her cry again and I kill you. And if she happens to be crying because you're dead, I'll go out and make friends with some aliens who can make you _un­_­-dead just so I get to keep my promise," Cam threatened, the humour of his words not detracting from what Daniel knew was a very real threat.

"For the record, I'd deserve it," Daniel conceded. "Are we okay?" 

"Yeah, we're good," Cam replied, relieved that everything seemed to be working itself out for his team… Okay, for the people who collectively listened to his orders precisely 31.752 of the time. How Sam kept track of these things while being shot at by alien baddies, he'd never know.

"Good," Daniel echoed, turning to leave. Thinking better of it, he turned back and added, "I'm glad she's got you to care about her Cam. I have this bad habit of turning up dead and Teal'c tends to get captured and tortured pretty often. It makes us feel better knowing that you're around to look after her when bad things happen to us."

"I might not always be around Daniel."

"Sure you will," Daniel replied with a smirk. "In our first year on SG-1 Teal'c had been captured a half a dozen times and I'd already died twice. The only thing you've done twice since you started working here a year ago is lost your pants."

"How was I supposed to know Vala had a killer poker face?" he cried indignantly, referring to the strip poker game the alien vixen had tricked him into, only to kick his boxer-clad ass (that was as far as he was willing to go, sure that she'd grasped the concept of strip poker by that point) quite soundly.

"We still on for movie night tomorrow?" Daniel asked, dodging the question.

"Yep, I got the movie all picked out!"

"Is it related to our last mission in any way, shape or form?"

Cam quirked an eyebrow as if to say "isn't it always?", then quickly lowered it again. He'd definitely been spending too much time with their friendly neighbourhood Jaffa!

All Daniel could do was groan in response.


End file.
